Ozzie Guillen acknowledges our authority

You may remember when we opined against Ozzie Guillen, the hilariously inept Chicago White Sox manager who has led his team into the ground this year.**

**Note: All real baseball fans know that a manager has extremely little to do with the play of his respective team. However, it is funny/easy/convenient to blame these individuals for poor performance.

Well, it seems Ozzie has come to his senses.

Well, as much as Ozzie can come to his senses.

He just can’t take it any more. Take it away Guillen:

One-hundred-million-dollar payroll and those guys don’t show how much they make in the field,” Guillen said. ”Well, Kenny, I don’t say what he has to do, but we play like this and spend all that money on the club like that, I will shut the payroll and go with Double-A kids if we have to.

Not sure how you “shut a payroll,” but proceed.

They’re killing me. They’re killing my family. They’re killing my coaching staff. Kill the White Sox fans. They kill the owner. They kill everyone. I hope they feel the same way we feel.

We had to wait two sentence for a Guillen-like overblown comment. Yes, the White Sox are killing his family. Also, White Sox fans, your manager just told all those who read the paper to murder you. Unreal. Do you at least have a solution Ozzie?

I hope somebody out there cares the way we care. Good guys or nice guys finish [expletive] last. I’m tired of seeing that [crap], day in and day out. And I don’t want to spend a miserable September seeing the same [crap]. If I have to see the same [crap], I told Kenny, ‘Bring somebody up. [Expletive] it.’ If it’s my fault, I should be moving out of here then. If it’s my fault, [expletive] fire my ass and I’ll be fine. I have the job to do, and I get paid a lot of [expletive] money to make this club work, but it’s not easy to work with people like that. It’s not easy.

Yes! YES! He understands! Fire his ass and he’ll be fine. Although he makes a lot of F-ing money (as he subtly points out), it’s not easy people! Running a team is hard! You have to fill out the batting order every day. EVERY DAY! And get thrown out once in awhile.

Anyway, there it is Kenny. Your free pass. He asked for it. Now give ’em the axe.

Hypocrisy is hilarious!

Swear to God, this is the last Vick picture that will be posted on this site for at least a week.

We aren’t even going to get back into the mess that is this situation (we even had the head of an animal rights organization leave a statement in the comments section — we smell copy/paste, copy/paste after Googling “Vick” in the blogs).

However, this was noteworthy from yesterday but didn’t make it in before the dinner bell rang.

ESPN’s Page 2 (I’m nothing like my stuck-up older brother, swear!) has decided to mock the ridiculousness of media coverage surrounding Vick.

Really Page 2?

Because for the last week, you couldn’t turn on the Worldwide Leader without seeing a press conference, an Outside the Lines, a Cold Pizza, or a Sportscenter in which Vick was the lead topic.

It was, Quite Frankly, embarrassing.

We know you’re supposed to be funny and all that jazz (the only writer we really enjoy is Klosterman), but we still know who signs your paychecks.

The Fynal Out: N.L. races are so hot right now

All of the sudden, none of the American League playoff races are close.

Of course, the Yankees’ deficit has been lingering from 5-8 games for what seems like months.

But now the Tigers are 4.5 behind Cleveland (thanks to two straight losses to KANSAS CITY) and the Angels have widen their lead to 5 games over the Mariners.

But in the N.L., things are tightening up. Especially in the East. And the Central. And the West.

Last night, behind four straight wins, the Phillies closed the gap to 3 games. The Mets appeared to have tied the game in the top of the ninth, but Marlon Anderson was called out for interference, ending the game on a controversial note.

Either way, a loss is a loss, and the Mets now have four in a row. Philly goes for the sweep today at 1:05 EST.

Mets 2, Phillies 3: In addition to that helpful interference call, the Phillies got six strong innings out of Jamie Moyer, who gave up just two runs. The Philly offense was boosted by first inning home runs by the break-dancing Jimmy Rollins and Pat Burrell.

Red Sox 3, Yankees 4: Roger Clemens somehow took a no-hitter into the sixth inning, before giving up a solo shot to David Ortiz. Although it’s not time for Boston fans to jump off the ledge yet, Josh Beckett gave up a season-high 13 hits. The Yankees are now tied for first in the Wild Card race.

Angels 8, Mariners 2: This series was supposed to be crucial. We would have even taken competitive. The Angels closed out the sweep Wednesday behind solo home runs from Jeff Mathis and Vlad Guerrero. Jered Weaver went eight innings and gave up just one earned run. Up-and-down Seattle has now lost five in a row.

Diamondbacks 1, Padres 3: Speaking of sweeps, the Padres go for an important one today. Three straight wins have put San Diego in a tie for first out West, and a win today would put Arizona alone in second. On Wednesday, Micah Owings allowed just three hits and a run in seven innings, but got no help from his offense.

More scores…