12
Nov
07

Colts Rhymes With Bolts

Shawne MerrimanWhat a weekend.

First, I had to watch my poor Hoosiers get edged out in Evanston (that’s Northwestern, folks).

Then the Colts assemble their C- squad (no Dallas Clark, no Marv, no Vanderjagt), fall down by 23, then miss a field goal for their greatest comeback ever.

And after all the great football, I sink into the couch to catch up on some NFL happenings…and I can’t help but critique.

Best line by someone who went bat-shit years ago: Chris Berman, on the Browns-Steelers “rivalry.”

“To beat a team that has your number, you almost have to be better than that team.”

Usually, being better than the other team IS key in turning around a lop-sided rivalry. Thanks for the analysis gold Boom.

Best observation during a game: This one goes to Ms. FynalCut.

“Why do the guys on this team (the Chargers) celebrate every time they do anything?”

Well, dear, they are douchebags. And they overcompensate for never winning anything.

Best Hail Mary attempt at creating some publicity for yourself, Peter King, “Monday Morning Quarterback”:

I’ve got to take on Barry Melrose here. Keep in mind I’m part of a New Jersey Devils season-ticket group, so I have a vested interest in the team and the new arena — the Prudential Center in Newark, where I saw the Devils and Penguins last Monday.

Melrose has since backtracked from his gratuitous line about the arena and city, but here it is: “It [the arena] looks great on the inside, but don’t go outside, especially if you’ve got a wallet or anything else, because the area around the building is so awful.”

I am in Newark quite a bit, unlike Melrose, who admitted he hasn’t been to the arena yet. And what’s happening there is the hockey arena is the centerpiece for some badly needed downtown development. The area around the building right now is not nice. But is it unsafe? Absolutely not. The place is crawling with cops. The parking areas are as secure as the ones at any stadium or arena I’ve been to. It’s a simple in-and-out place if you’re driving, and not quite as simple but no less safe if you take the train to Newark Penn Station, a three-block walk away.

Sorry for that gigantic block quote, but you probably get the point. Peter King…calling out Barry Melrose…for calling out the new NEW JERSEY DEVILS ARENA. Another dose of excellent football analysis. Anyone else think maybe MMQ is getting a bit too long?

Speaking of hate, we love feuds. Some blog start a feud with us. We hate you (fill in your blog name). We hate everything you do. Let’s fight through our words.

Phrase that made me want to be Adrian Peterson’s knee: Every outlet discovered — Genius! — that the word Colts, does indeed rhyme with the word Bolts. With the exception of the actual calling of the game, I’m not sure I heard the word “Chargers” this weekend. Tip: If the only rhyme you can come up with is the one you used the last 435 headlines in a row, just use the team names. Spare us all.

Until the next week of awful coverage, live it up people.

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