How sorry was Michael Vick?

Sorry!We’ve previously told you of the genius that is Esquire.

If you didn’t listen, well, that’s your fault.

But now they’re back, and although it took us a while to find this gem, it was well worth the wait.

Esquire contacted several “experts” to dissect how sorry Michael Vick was during his very public (and very covered) press conference post-dog fighting charges. The results are not so good for Vick.

The first expert is a media trainer, who determines that Mike is exactly 0 percent sorry, mostly because his apology is late and he invokes the religious flotation device:

It seems like something out of a recipe from a crisis communications plan,” he said. “Have I said I found Jesus? Check.

Despite that lovely quote, our favorite of the bunch is Maria Bradley, a middle school principal:

Bradley was impressed that Vick took responsibility for his actions, noting that her students often blame others for their mistakes. But she found it strange that Vick attributed his actions to his immaturity. “As middle schoolers, there’re a lot of kids in my building that are immature,” she says. “But they don’t dog fight.

Touché Ms. Bradley, touché.

(Ms. Bradley concluded Vick was 85 percent sorry, raising his total to 55.8 percent on the Sorrymeter)


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