In case you missed it, Ichiro might be crazy and/or hilarious

Going to a different country to do your job must be terribly difficult.

Especially if your job is being a professional baseball player, where your every move is scrutinized by the press.

***Disclaimer over***

Ichiro Suzuki (seen here in pink) has some of the best and most quotable quotes in all of baseball (even though most of the time he might not actually be aware of what he’s saying).

Slate has detailed the bizarre musings, claiming that the player may just be telling the press exactly how he feels, something players don’t have to do in Japan and refuse to do in America.

Among the gems featured in the article:

When Ichiro held a press conference earlier this month to discuss the deal, he divulged that a key advisory role in deciding to remain in Seattle was played by his dog Ikky. “He said, ‘Woof, woof, woof,’ which meant, ‘Stay, stay, stay,’ ” Suzuki told reporters in Japanese. “Of course, I listened.

Funny, I thought “woof, woof, woof” meant “I’m hungry” or “I ate up your favorite couch and peed on your autographed Bob Dylan’s Greatest Hits LP.”

Go ooooonnnnnnn.

Asked recently about a road trip to Cleveland, he admitted: “To tell the truth, I’m not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to. If I ever saw myself saying I’m excited going to Cleveland, I’d punch myself in the face, because I’m lying.

And on the world of golf and Tiger Woods:

Tiger is a great golfer, but … when you say athlete, I think of Carl Lewis. When you talk about [golfers or race-car drivers], I don’t want to see them run. It’s the same if you were to meet a beautiful girl and go bowling. If she’s an ugly bowler, you are going to be disappointed.

Funny, every time I’ve brought home an ugly bowler home, I’ve been disappointed.

Ichiro: Crazy, or genius?

Road to October

Postseason picks have been a long time coming.

You know how it goes…studying up on dogfighting laws just wears us out by the end of the day.

Anyway, here we’ll layout how we think the division – and Wild Card – races will head, and answer all your questions.

First, we should mention that there are a few picks that we are going to stand by regardless of how inaccurate they appear to be at this point in the season. Picks are picks, and they shouldn’t change every week. Here we go…

American League

East: Well, we’ve said all along the Yankees are going to make up the difference and catch the Red Sox, and we’re sticking with that (despite their lack of pitching). New York’s upcoming schedule isn’t very favorable (at Angels, at Tigers, vs. Red Sox), but we’ve seen them do it before.

Central: Tigers — Maybe Zoomin’ Joel Zumaya can save the sinking ship.

West: Although the Mariners are so hot right now, they won’t catch the Angels. Los Angeles will be in the playoffs.

Wild Card: Mariners — Although they won’t win the division, the M’s will see postseason play for the first time since 2001.

National League

East: Mets — Although the Braves have plenty of firepower, they’ve dug themselves too deep of a hole.

Central: As much as it pains us to say, it’s going to be the Cubs. So avoid bars, frat houses and outside in general as fans come out of the woodwork to cheer on “their” team. It must be really hard being an actual Cubs fan.

West: We’re maintaining the Diamondbacks will win their division. They’ve got good young pitching and enough offensive power to carry them past the first round in an upset. Besides, the Padres never have enough at the end of the season, and no one knows what happened to the Dodgers. There’s a new king out West.

Wild Card: This is where the Braves step in. The season dwindling down will prove how valuable an addition Mark Teixeira was. Milwaukee won’t have enough down the stretch (like Philly) and the Cardinals run was fun while it lasted.

There you have it.*

* “It” refers to an educated guess by the Fynal Cut. Wagering any money based on these picks would be ridiculously stupid.

The Fynal Out: Something Brewing?

The Brewers headed to Arizona with one of the worst road records in the majors.

Plus, the two teams had practically switched positions in their respective positions from a couple months ago.

But, the Brewers made a statement Monday night, putting up 6 runs in the first two innings against the Diamondbacks’ Doug Davis — and holding the Arizona offense to 5 hits and no runs.

So while everyone’s now watching the defending World Series champs and the Cubbies, the Brewers may not be the giant disaster everyone thought if they can win a series in the desert.

Brewers 9, Diamondbacks 0: Ben Sheet’s replacement Yovani Gallardo went 6 shutout innings for the Brew Crew, then gave way to 3 hitless innings by reliever Carlos Villanueva. Villanueva’s reward? He was optioned to Triple-A Nashville after the game.

Cardinals 6, Cubs 4: In another slippery and soggy day at Wrigley Field, St. Louis managed to avoid the sweep (after a 1 1/2 hour delay) behind Scott Rolen’s 3 RBI. The Cubs’ three-game win streak was snapped, despite 3 home runs.

Mariners 9, Twins 4: No one’s rolling like the M’s (who’ve won 4 in a row). Raul Ibanez went yard twice in the first 3 innings, and Richie Sexson and Kenji Johjima each added their own shot to give Seattle all it needed early.

More scores…